Health and Hospital

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Health and Hospital

Post by Guest on Sun Aug 28, 2011 10:53 pm

I was planning on returning this week, but things changed.

Things have been really tough. My depression and anxiety have flared up to an unstable level. Many, many, many incidents in recent times have caused it to build up. And one recent incident was enough to make me take a swan dive off the deep end. Two men, both who said they would be there for me, have turned around and utterly destroyed me. One will be named, the other, all you need to know is that he is a pioneer of the XemSai fandom. Here’s just a small summary.

Well there’s this guy I’ve liked for 2 years. He lives in another country. I tried to get over him. I met Miguel at nova. I fell head over heels with him. He’s bisexual. I wanted him to give me a chance but he said he never would. Then he started bragging about this other guy he loves and is fucking. So I kicked him out of my life. Enter the guy from another. He said I was beautiful and that he liked me. He made me so happy. He never told me he likes this chick, a friend of mine, in another country.

I felt so foolish to think that someone like them would like me. He says he cares about me but won’t give me a chance. Now he won’t help me with these problems. Then he proceed to unwatch me on DA and on tumblr, saying he didn’t want to hurt me, but that made things worse. I’ve started to cut again. And attempt things. Now he won’t talk to me and has most likely blocked me on msn.

It’s happened. I’ve lost my mind. But I’m not insane. No. Not insane. Just lonely. I get told constantly that I don’t need love in my life to make me happy. But love does make me happy. I crave a relationship to make me happy, and so I can make them happy.

I’m being admitted into hospital this week. Most likely for 3 weeks. I’m a broken person. A broken girl who is constantly stepped on. I never deserved a life like this. I never wanted to be this fucked up.

So I won’t be online for quite sometime. Just thought I should let you guys know that I’m not in a good place right now. But I’m getting help.

I’m broken, beaten, destroyed, defeated. I need help. So I’m getting help. I prey that I shall have a chance with this man sometime in the future. Maybe in a few years. I believe that destiny has a plan for us, we just don’t know what that plan is.

I would also like to ask if those who know me in real life to not blurt this around. I’m only posting this on here, DeviantArt and Tumblr. So please, don’t mention anything of this on facebook, or to anyone else who does not have DA or Tumblr. Please respect my wishes.

So I guess I’ll be back in a month or so.

Guest
Guest


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Re: Health and Hospital

Post by Eve Torres on Sun Aug 28, 2011 11:04 pm

Oh my God... AJ hunn if there is anything I can do... just let me know... if you wanna talk to someone you know where to find me <3 Hope you get better soon and let me know if I can do anything <3
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Eve Torres

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Re: Health and Hospital

Post by Chris Sabin on Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:06 am

Aw Hun <3 I hope things get better and you get to the point you want. I wish nothing but the best for you darling. We understand to take time away from here. If you want to talk to someone as well, I am here too.
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Chris Sabin

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Re: Health and Hospital

Post by Guest on Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:28 am

Hope things get better for you. It's understandable, take all the time you need. Just focus on you and getting well, that's what matters.

Guest
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Re: Health and Hospital

Post by Jason Eckhart on Mon Aug 29, 2011 2:58 am

My prayers are with you...I hope things get better for you. Don't worry about needing to feel like you have to come back at a set point...just take your time to get back and focus on getting better

We love you <3333
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Jason Eckhart

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Re: Health and Hospital

Post by Noah Styles on Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:34 pm

I hope everything turns out well for you. Like everybody else, I'm here for you if you want to talk. Get well soon Smile
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Noah Styles

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Re: Health and Hospital

Post by Rachel Orton on Mon Aug 29, 2011 3:38 pm

I'm so sorry to hear all of that. We're all here for you to talk to when you need us. I'm glad you're getting help for your problems and I hope you feel better soon!

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